Red, White & Blue

Dear Kirste,

11:46 a.m.

If you're reading this, it's likely 2016 already. I'm watching the news right now, much as it drives me crazy, and history is unfolding without us. President Obama is holed up in a shoebox of his own somewhere in the city, and he's awaiting the results of the election, just like me. He voted early, on October 25--and you, Kirste--YOU could have gone out and invalidated the President's vote had you registered in time. But you didn't, and shame on you for that...

I mean, you moved to Chicago way back in July! You had plenty of time to get registered. You even had time to send for an absentee ballot in Missouri, but you waited too long. You didn't realize you had to register 28 days before the election, or that you could only apply for an absentee ballot through a tedious process of snail mail communications with the Old Country...

Your first impression of Chicago politics was probably made when the Teacher's Union went on strike in September. You got a chuckle out of the circular firing squad formed by Mayor Emmanuel and the Union leaders, but it wasn't really funny. Earlier in the summer, you walked past picketers outside the Hyatt, too. You even read a proposed amendment to the Illinois constitution...but your voice wasn't heard, not this year. Sure, it's blue Chicago, and your red vote probably wouldn't have amounted to much, but that's not the point. You had Principles to uphold, and you failed to uphold them! Dead folks all over Illinois took the time to go out and vote today, and you--a living, breathing citizen of the United States of America--couldn't be bothered.

1:00 p.m.

"THOUSANDS OF VOTING CONTROVERSIES REPORTED NATIONWIDE ON ELECTION DAY," the news is telling me. Big surprise. You'll have to let me know whether the headlines have changed by 2016.

2:10 p.m.

"OHIO VOTE COULD BE PIVOTAL," they're telling me. Remember that? I bet it's true every election.

Meanwhile, in other states...

"EPA approves measure allowing biofuel providers to divert supplies to New Jersey to alleviate shortages caused by monster storm Sandy...barge bearing 17.6 million gallons of fuel is expected to arrive in New Jersey by Thursday...New Jersey senators Frank Lautenberg (D) and Robert Menendez (D) requested the move."

"Gay Marriage and marijuana legalization on the ballot in some states...Maine, Maryland, and Washington are voting on whether to legalize same-sex marriage, while Minnesota is voting on whether to ban gay marriage...Washington, Colorado, and Oregon could become the first states to legalize recreational use of marijuana."

As a staunch fiscal conservative, this is the first election I've felt I have an actual stake in. Same-sex marriage and the legalization of marijuana were things I had strong opinions about when I was a teenager, but in recent years, those subjects have found their way onto the back-burner. I'm still pretty moderate where social issues are concerned. Live and let live, that sort of thing. It'll be interesting to see if any Firsts occur today, though.

6:50 p.m.

Polls are closing from east to west. There are only ten minutes left to vote in Chicago. I've been checking the news intermittently, and it looks as though the electoral votes are 3 for Obama and 49 for Romney. Only 270 are needed to win, but I am not so naive as to get my hopes up. There's a long way to go yet. It's almost like a sporting event...

7:15 p.m.

Just 25 minutes later, the electoral votes are 78 for Obama and 82 for Romney. It looks like it's going to be a close race. Do you remember how exciting it all was?

8:31 p.m.

The candidates are tied up on electoral votes (153 each), and that's including Texas. You'll have to excuse my pessimism, but all hope just dried up. On a brighter note, I crocheted an infinity scarf and started a new painting while watching the news. So pat yourself on the back, Kirste. You did something productive today, after all.

I think I'll go ahead and accept the inevitable: Obama is going to be re-elected. It's not a terrible tragedy, but I can't help feeling a little disappointed. I certainly don't hate the man; in fact, I kind of like him. He's wily and charismatic. I just think he's wrong for my country.

Wherever you are when you read this, I hope you registered to vote already. Don't forget to write back.

Sincerely,

A younger, dumber self

P.S. Tell Phil he sucks too. For all the same reasons. :)