How I Got My First Monet

One day (last spring, I think), I arrived for my shift at the art museum, and there was a man in the rotunda who'd brought in a couple of Japanese seashell reliefs for appraisal. After talking with the curator, he paused at my desk to ask if I'd like to come out to his van and see an original Monet he hauled around with him. Had he tempted me with a box of Krispy Kremes, he might have had a new skin suit that weekend, but since I wasn't buying it, he brought the murder-bait to my desk instead...

Because entertaining crazy people is a hobby of mine, I oohed and ahed in all the right moments, but when I declined to purchase the painting (for $10.00), he insisted I keep it anyway. He then left, never to be seen again (at least by me), and there I sat with a dusty old painting and WTF written all over my face. It was given to me, ostensibly, because the canvas was torn in one spot, and this greatly reduced its value.

The first thing I did was call in Birgit, another volunteer from the gift shop, so she and I could share a laugh and puzzle over the painting together. Neither she, nor I, saw anything to indicate it wasn't real, but that's because we're a couple of noobs. I've since chosen not to inquire about it's authenticity, both for fear of humiliating myself and being forced to conclude a once great story with "...then they laughed me right out of the office, and I cried myself to sleep in a far corner of the bathroom. "

SEEMS LEGIT.

Suffice it to say, the mystery is of greater value to me than the painting itself, but hopefully I haven't committed an egregious error in taking it home and shoving it in the closet. Should my descendants ever discover it is real, I ask that they make a generous donation to the museum and write a public apology to the nameless man whose intentions I misinterpreted. I don't foresee that happening, but why not cover all bases?

As a side note, I think it's worth mentioning that around the same time, my Mom and Ross stumbled upon another mystery Monet at an auction in South Carolina. It's authenticity is also in question, but we now have, not one, but two Monets? in the family.

Go figure.